It's KVoC somewhere

2022-04-30  zebulon

They say a dog knows a storm is coming based on senses alone. While I don't know if what they say is true, I have a similarly unconventional way of sensing when summertime is around the corner. It's called Kurt Vonnegut o'Clock. Once a year I recall Vonnegut's existence and scramble to read and re-read his greatest works.  I revived the hard drive on my Macbook Air yesterday and stumbled upon a file that I had completely forgotten about, "Leak.docx", last modified during the wee hours of one August 2015 night. I had been in Tel Aviv for over a month at that point yet purposefully chose to embrace the jet lag and indulge in the night owl novelty that I so devotedly avoided at school. I had my IUD inserted earlier that Summer and was going on two months of non-stop menstruation. Leak.docx wasn't about the leak in my uterine lining, however, but rather about the leak in my brain. That particular evening I decided to write a scholarly essay, citations and all, analyzing Breakfast of Champions and explaining how the book can teach us a thing or two about chaos and respect. KVoC is the most "like clockwork" occurrence in my life, especially in contrast with my menstrual period which has yet to reoccur since that very cursed episode. I don't remember the first KVoC but I do remember the shock and excitement of finding someone's else's words so frictionless to read, so deeply funny and astute.  If you haven’t watched Everything Everywhere All at Once I suggest you step away from this blog and do so. I had never seen a movie whose tempo matched the high speed parallel processing of mumbo jumbo that pulses through my skull. Yesterday in our 1:1 Stewart told me it was the best movie he had seen in the past five years. I admitted to him that my gut reaction is mild bitterness when someone says they loved the film. The movie reflected MY consciousness. How could someone relate to it just as much? Stewart seemed intrigued and said that the child-parent relationship and something something about apathy were the aspects that resonated with him the most. I forget the second thing he said because my brain was already racing ahead. This year was my first Harry Potter o’Clock. Obviously I had seen all the movies before but it had been a minute and I’m hoping it becomes my New Years Eve tradition. I was discussing the reunion special with Milena recently and I referred to Alan Rickman, the actor, as Snape, the character. In an effort to mitigate confusion we coined the REAL/FAKE/DEAD/ALIVE matrix. Snape is FAKE/DEAD and Rickman is REAL/DEAD (though I had to look him up again just now to be extra sure). One of the reasons I love Vonnegut so much is because he spans all four corners. The author is dead but the Vonnegut character in his stories is very much alive and unwell. KVoC isn’t mine. Everything Everywhere All at Once isn’t mine. It’s also Stewart’s and also everyone’s in similar but different ways. And that’s precisely what Leak.docx is all about. Yesterday I also recovered my final paper from Media Aesthetics, which I took during first year of college. In his review of my essay Professor Lee wrote, "Your thesis collapses under the weight of your misunderstanding." I’m glad I revived the hard drive.