some dreams

Been having some dreams lately - I don’t always have dreams but when I do it’s usually because my sleep is bad, or sometimes when it’s exceptionally good. Rn I’m sleeping on an air mattress (bad) so we’re in dream city. I had one last night where I was in “LOST” except I’ve never seen that show and barely know the premise. I was with this girl who was also on the island (like I knew we were on the Lost island but this was actually my house) and she has this strange condition where she has constant hallucinations of gunshots firing her way coming from the hands of whoever she’s looking at. She also had a gun that I could see for real. So we go to my house and put the gun in the silverware drawer and then my mom walks in and she’s walking with a white mobility cane and sunglasses, and I’m like “oh no mom are you blind now?” (my grandma’s and mom’s eventually my deteriorating eyesight is a big anxiety point) and she’s like “no I’m just prepping for when I WILL BE” and the girl I’m with is like “wow that’s heavy, I like being able to see” and I’m a bit perplexed on this girl’s relationship to vision. This dream was bad = sleep bad. I had a really good dream a couple weekends ago visiting home. I was sleeping on a futon that’s usually bad but I guess I found a good groove in it that night. In the dream I’m part of an EMT team called in to care for a group of kittens whose cat mom is missing. The kittens are found in the sewer and it’s a pretty miserable scene, they’re all crying and scared and I’m there with them and I’m only able to think about all the real life anxiety I have, especially about all the stuff outside of me (looming fascism, etc.) that I can’t control and a lot of bad emotions . The thought in this moment is “things are always bad” and the whole situation with the sad kittens confirms this. Trust me this dream will get better. So I grab all the kittens and climb up a ladder through a manhole cover and to my surprise at the top of the ladder is a big raggedy cat who I recognize as the cat mom. This is great and all the kittens rush to her and the situation is relieved. Cat mom is kinda weird looking and looks like a worn toy, but makes really really deep eye contact with me and telepathically tells me “maaarrk sometimes things are good tooooo” and this absolutely *sends* me and I start WEEPING and I weep so hard in this dream i must have looked like 😖 irl. And then I wake up and I feel very refreshed! This dream was good = sleep good. This felt like the kind of relief people get after having a really intense trip and finding some profundity in a weird vision. I still haven’t really had too much of a psychedelic experience but maybe I can buy a bunch of chocolates from Etsy and see where it takes me. Or I could buy a mattress