but IS it sexual tension

2022-06-28  boop

i rly cannot tell lmaoooo someone help but also some questions:: 1. can sexual tension be one sided?? > tension implies two sides pulling. people make mistakes like these all the time where they think there is a Mutual Thing and then it turns out it is Just You. but that doesn't make it less real, does it? the act of imagining said tension changes how you act/interact, thus creating tension, without which you would not act/interact that tension-creating way. that made more sense in my head 2. can u have sexual tension without wanting to act on it > i guess i have an answer to this one. as ur resident ace bitch I feel like I have sexual tension w ppl all the time (maybe i am overestimating my own hotness and it's a one-sided scenario as discussed above tho thats besides the point) but the idea of actually having sex w said person is like.... meh? like yes i am appreciative of u aesthetically and personality wise etc etc but I am perfectly happy going home at the end of the night goodbye 3. do i want to fuck this person???? > im not entirely sex repulsed, orgasms are cool. it's just never something i actively seek out, like ever. [[this is similar to my personal drug philosophy which is, if it takes effort to do, i don't do it - from sourcing and buying, to "i have to stick this shit up my nose? ugh no". but poppers fucking ROCK bc you can buy them literally anywhere and its just one sniff and then you're done after a few minutes of awesomeness on the dance floor.]] i tend to think about sex p anthropologically, like the inherent weirdness of sex in how it makes 2 people interact is very interesting to me. i haven't had sex in a year which is pretty crazy to most people but it doesn't really occur to me - life is so busy and interesting !! i guess also as someone AFAB sex is very rarely good in a one-night stand so its like, why bother all that said, why do i keep thinking about fucking this person in the theoretical if I don't somehow want him in reality to some degree?? i guess its just a crush then?? but he also annoys me? ughhhhhhhh i wish i had the sex drive of samantha on SATC